me and my brother will never be the same.
I wish I could forget everything. It would make forgetting him a lot easier.
But is it fair for me to really be okay with letting him go? We ended every day together in the same bed for 15 years. He was the only person who could cheer me up no matter the mood I was in simply because he understood. He didn’t let me mope. He listened and then helped me realize hey, it’s not such a big deal. He probably doesn’t get me anymore. And that’s fine. But disowning my own twin has been the largest constant struggle for four years.
Perhaps it’s a manifestation that I can’t let go of my childhood, but perhaps it’s also the constant abuse of reopening a direct wound to the heart. I can forget people by cutting them out of my life. The only way to cut him out of my life would be to cut my entire family out of my life.
Am I ready for it?